A Thousand Tears

An Enabler's Journey

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A Thousand Tears is a ground breaking work discovered through living as an enabler and a journey for our own recovery.




Photos: Copyright Perry Meadows Ocean City, MD Sunrise 2018

The books describe 23 years of recovering from enabling and observing other enablers.  It also describes the cyclical behavioral patterns of individuals with substance use disorders and the corresponding responses of each level of enabler. We profile different degrees of enabling. There are self-reflective tools to help identify true vs. false repentance, excuse making, dysfunctional thinking, trust scale, entanglement gauge, toxic relationship warning signs with unhealthy and healthy relationship paradigms, a distance evaluator, entitlement attitude, and a guilt trap.


The books also outline how to identify a manipulator and things to consider before confronting and exposing a manipulator. There are behavioral evaluation lists for what love is and what love isn't, emotional immaturity vs. maturity, emotional stability, irrational coping skills, and how to develop a peaceful home.


Another chapter deals with our anxiety and helps us measure it with an anxiety quotient quiz, emotional roller coaster paradigm, and identifying if our emotions or our intellect reign. Further constructs are built on how to possess our own identity. We explore how to be intentional, how to deal with irritations, and twelve practical steps to understanding detachment.


More reflection is discussed on how to identify who is hindering our recovery from enabling and how to identify people with devouring behaviors and avoid them.


Final comments are written on how to build a bridge with a person in recovery from substance use disorder or grieve the loss of a loved one. There are multiple questions to ask ourselves to reflect upon the severity of our circumstances and to help us identify our own dysfunctional behaviors.


Stay tuned for additional works from A Thousand Tears, LLC, as we are beginning to develop a series of workbooks based upon the two books found under the Store tab that can be used for individual or small group study.


The book ends with quiet, reflective journaling prompts and a couple hundred snippets of wisdom.

Enablers are like tiny ships tossed on a stormy sea.

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There is a heart that feels we can't enjoy life while watching a loved one's struggles.

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Courage isn't accidental.

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Take back portions of your heart.

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Identify the good and the bad and separate from the vile and cling to the precious.

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Go to higher ground emotionally

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It is important to understand why I am compelled to control others.

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Understanding internal and external torment.

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Maybe the root issue isn't enabling, maybe it is stressing.

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Enabler's give power away to attempt to gain power over another.

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What to do when your heart can't enjoy life because of the suffering of chronic grief.

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Finding a safe place.

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Go to higher ground emotionally

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Rock of Recovery Leader's guide.pdf

1) Anxiety: Unsafe v. Safe self AL1unsafevsafe.pdf

2) Anxiety: Anxiety Quotient Quiz AL2anxietyquotientquiz.pdf

3) Anxiety: Emotional Roller Coaster AL3emotionalrollercoaster.pdf

4) Anxiety: Obsessive v. Trusting AL4obsessivevtrusting.pdf

5) Anxiety: Helpless Trap aka Victim Mentality AL5Helplesstrap.pdf

6) Anxiety: Prison Camp of Anxiety AL6 PrisonCampof Anxiety.pdf

7) Anxiety: Anxiety vs. Trusting Anxiety7 AnxietyvsTrusting.pdf

8) Anxiety: Dishrag vs. Steel Anxiety8 dishragvssteel.pdf

9) Anxiety: Double Mindedness vs. Trustworthy Anxiety9 Doubleminednessvstrustworthy.pdf

10) Anxiety: True vs. False Recovery Anxiety10 True:FalseRecovery.pdf

11) Anxiety: Anxiety Hides Something Anxiety11 Anxietyhidessomething.pdf

12) Anxiety: Peace Anxiety12 Peace.pdf

13) Overcoming Torment: Tormented Mind CycleRRTML1-.pdf

14) Overcoming Torment: Unwinding the Tormented Mind RRTML2--.pdf

15) Overcoming Torment: Offended Cycle RRTML3-.pdf

16) Overcoming Torment: Unraveling Offense RRTM4--.docx

17) Overcoming Torment: Offense aka an Emotional Wound RRTML5.docx

18) Overcoming Torment: How to Be Blameless RRTML6 copy.docx

19) Overcoming Torment: Yoke of Slavery RRTML7 copy.docx

20) Overcoming Torment: Wounded Heart RRTML8 copy.docx

21) Overcoming Torment: Recovery from the Wounded Spirit RRTML9- copy.docx

22) Overcoming Torment: Drunk vs. Sober Emotions RRTM10 copy.docx

23) Overcoming Torment: Forgiveness RRTM11- copy.docx

24) Overcoming Torment: Freedom RRTM12- copy.docx



Defeating Anxiety Video 1: Safe v. Unsafe Self                                      https://youtu.be/7dkcrvCpS0s

Defeating Anxiety Video 2: Anxiety Quotient Quiz                  https://youtu.be/eRjO74PVPB0 

Defeating Anxiety Video 3: Emotional Roller Coaster            https://youtu.be/g-D8ZDVgFYA              

Defeating Anxiety Video 4: Obsessive v. Trusting              https://youtu.be/76Zr5jaGOwQ

Defeating Anxiety Video 5: Helpless Trap aka Victim Mentality https://youtu.be/bo0fsSRcbxY

Defeating Anxiety Video 6: Prison Camp of Anxiety https://youtu.be/04QvMaX56ww

Defeating Anxiety Video 7: Anxiety vs. Resting https://youtu.be/zYEBkLYODhg

Defeating Anxiety Video 8: Dishrag vs. Steel https://youtu.be/MU8Oy2mi_z8

Defeating Anxiety Video 9: Double Mindedness vs. Trustworthy https://youtu.be/oLm-iFIz_F4

Defeating Anxiety Video 10: True vs. False Recovery https://youtu.be/7dhJ7sVVf18

Defeating Anxiety Video 11: Anxiety Hides Something https://youtu.be/7dhJ7sVVf18

Defeating Anxiety Video 12: Peace https://youtu.be/sa_ntb7BMWE

Overcoming Torment Video 1: Tormented Mind Cycle https://youtu.be/wTri30IA8O0

Overcoming Torment Video 2: Unwinding the Tormented Thinking https://youtu.be/bruUrjh7mMA

Overcoming Tormented Video 3: Offended Cycle https://youtu.be/SoR9ZzDiiAE

Overcoming Torment Video 4: Unraveling Offenses https://youtu.be/Vy8uXU52p5o

Overcoming Torment Video 5: Offense aka an Emotional Wound https://youtu.be/h9eg3t_kZIc

Overcoming Torment Video 6: How to Be Blameless https://youtu.be/cKjpR52lhC8

Overcoming Torment Video 7: Yoke of Slavery https://youtu.be/W_x4CVkCNXE

Overcoming Torment Video 8: Wounded Heart https://youtu.be/AW5fy8yHSTc

Overcoming Torment Video 9: Recovery from the Wounded Spirit

Overcoming Torment Video 10: Drunk vs. Sober Emotions

Overcoming Torment Video 11: Forgiveness

Overcoming Torment Video 12: Freedom

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